Aliens: Colonial Marines “Game Over, Man!”

And then there’s the shooting mechanics. An FPS should by all right have fine-tuned shooting so that with a little practice you can keep your aim on your bobbing and weaving target. The more advanced sights available for use on your upgraded firearms have a nasty tendency to follow a fraction of a second behind your enemy, ghosting behind them as they move so you can unload an entire magazine and hit nothing but the air where they once stood. Try to correct this by pushing the sights toward the enemy and they jump ahead to shoot in front of them instead. That’s why, after unlocking all the different weapon modifications and legendary weapons in the game, I was still reliant on firing from the hip to waste them all. It makes for an extremely tedious game when attempts to improve your shooting style actually hinders you.

I would wax grandiloquent on further elements of gameplay if there were any.

Aliens: Colonial Marines

This is my corridor! There are many like it, but this one is mine!

Graphics: Your graphic experience will depend on whether you’re using a console or PC. The texture of your environment doesn’t seem to be any more advanced than games produced several years ago, but if you’re using a console it will be several seconds before the skins of mundane objects such as barrels and crates load up. Often you’ve moved on by then.

In the grand scheme of this otherwise disaster, graphics loading slowly is minor. What will bother you far more is the appearance of fellow NPCS and enemies. There’s no other way to put it: they’re boxy, pixelated, and poorly designed. I seem to recall one of the first FPS games for the 360, Prey, looking better.

And let’s not forget your environments. To be fair, the corridors of ships, corridors of colonies, and corridors of Weyland-Yutani labs are all well-detailed and dynamically lit to fit with the tense mood Aliens is known for. They’re also all the same, making for a new level of monotony while running through one identical gun battle after the next. You just sort of zip through them all as opposed to actually interacting with your environment.

Sound: The soundtrack of Aliens: Colonial Marines hits hard and takes its rightful place in the emotion-laden, sweeping and yet somehow fearful compositions of the Aliens universe alongside its peers. If not for the predictable gameplay and AI, you would constantly be at the edge of your seat.

This, however, proves to be a lucky shot in a magazine loaded full of duds. Voice overs are wooden to say the least. Hearing characters delivering their lines reminds me of the second grade, when children struggled to sound out the sentences in their primers in a tired, lackluster, monotone, wishing the bell would ring so they could be elsewhere, somewhere, anywhere other than this grind. If the characters can’t be excited about the situation they’re in, how am I supposed to?

Final Thoughts: It is amazing to me that sales for Aliens: Colonial Marines are currently breaking records. This is proof, in my mind at least, that the system is broken. Enough marketing will apparently overcome the flaws inherent in a video game, and by the time the player realizes they’ve been had, the game’s producer is laughing all the way to the bank.

It’s not right. It simply isn’t—A game reliant on the good name of a franchise that peaked almost twenty years ago plays upon a loyal fanbase to make a quick buck, throwing in events to homage the original films without having the courage or resolve to challenge canon and advance the player’s inclusion into this universe smacks of the worst kind of exploitation.

It is not surprising then that this is the same design group that gave us Duke Nukem Forever. I’m seeing the beginning of a trend. Aliens: Colonial Marines was intended for the PS2. If you look closely enough, you can see elements of gameplay indicative of the best developers were able to do back then. There is maybe half an hour of gameplay congruent with the standards of current gaming. The rest is a quilt of previous attempts sewn together to make something that looks like a game, plays like a game, but lacks the heart and execution of a game. And this is due to laziness. As gamers, we would expect developers to start coding from scratch, but instead it’s apparent that they have used old code to cut corners. Herein do we see that profit has become so important to developers that integrity, or the semblance of integrity, has been cast to the wayside.

In spite of so many game developers attempting to induce DLC, microtransactions, and pre-orders to boost sales, it is games such as this which remind us all that the wise gamer ignores the hype and waits until the game’s release before buying.

Rating:3/10
Pros:Continues story canon
Effective soundtrack
Cons:Terrible AI
Nonexistent plot
Feels much too old
Game producer's website:Gearbox Software
Official website:Aliens: Colonial Marines
Game available at:

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About The Author

John Richard "Chrysophase" Albers
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John Richard Albers, an author, armchair psychologist, amateur historian, freelance, peacemaker, dragonslayer, warmaster, and part-time herald of the apocalypse, hunts ghosts when he isn't hunting crazy people. He holds dual bachelor’s degrees in Psychology and English Literature, is working toward a degree in parapsychology, and is acting CEO of Prior to Print Proofreading LLC, where he gets to torture editors instead of them torturing him for once.

2 Responses to Aliens: Colonial Marines “Game Over, Man!”

  1. KingAnon says:

    One of the stupidest reviews yet, took this long to make it & you still reviewed it pre-patch v1.03 where they fixed most AI issues.. Moron.

    • WriterX says:

      King, they might had introduced substantial Fixes to the AI in a recent Patch, but does that mean a Review is bad based on how a game was released in its 1.00 Version? If we were to wait, as Reviewers, for a game to be fully Patched Post-Release and then write a Review we might have to wait a whole year before writing a game Review.

      Reviews of new Video Games are written when they are released, and not when all the Patches are in place.

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